that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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