He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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