I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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