i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
