It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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