weddingsv make me drug and hornr
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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