do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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