I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
