I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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