I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
