why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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