my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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