so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
My cat gives me a boner
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
