There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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