i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
