Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
