Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
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Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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