Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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