went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
