Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
