I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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