about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
