i think my tv is drunk
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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