I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
