this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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