she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
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Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
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You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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