HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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