the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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