Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
