hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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