did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
