I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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