there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
