After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
