do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
