he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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