so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I have aggressive nipples.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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