Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
