Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
