Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
