its not stalking. its research.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
