i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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