i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
