Me. At least after what I've been through.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
