You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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