I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i out mim tonsoeep
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
