You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
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When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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