i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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