Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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