Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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