the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
