At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Two words: blizzard sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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