why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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