I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash