he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Werenâ€™t Attracted To
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.