this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
this is an emotional support booty call
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
