I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
