Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
