dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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