My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
