I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
tonight lets celebrate not being married
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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