Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
