vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
we're making bets on your personal life
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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