We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
